


Stuck

by KinomiAkai



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Breaking Up & Making Up, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Reconciliation, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26939974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinomiAkai/pseuds/KinomiAkai
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke haven't seen each other for ten years. But how much has actually changed…?Modern au, SNS. Oneshot. Not a birthday fic, but written for Naruto's birthday!
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 77
Kudos: 415
Collections: real good reads





	Stuck

**Author's Note:**

> WHY AM I NEVER PREPARED FOR NARUTO'S BIRTHDAY! It's the same time every year!!! I bounced back and forth as to whether I would be ready, but Megan motivated me to just power through (thank you friend ;;;;;). This was such a big idea! I have 53 pages of notes! HJKkhkh anyway. I THINK it's done. I think I got everything I wanted in it. I hope you all like it! It's not at all my original idea for this trope, but I liked this new one quite a lot. I hope you like it too! 
> 
> I wanted to get it up in time for Naruto's birthday, so no replies yet. But I will start as soon as I've rested a bit after this, haha :) 
> 
> Anyway - fic time!!

He found it by accident.

No one would believe him if he'd told them, but he had. After his decision to walk to work (his new work, with better chairs, better rooms, and absolutely fucking miserable parking), he'd been on a quest to find the route with the most reasonable balance of (more) lights and (fewer) people—

And today...he'd chosen this one.

Against all odds, he'd ended up on this one.

Sasuke breathed out, staring into the window.

It wasn't the first shop that had grabbed his attention—no, in the warm wind of the sunny autumn air, Sasuke had been somehow coaxed into taking his time. He'd never really been one for a leisurely walk—generally having some place to _be_ , and every minute away from his goal was another minute late, but…

He breathed out.

It was crazy. A coincidence, surely. He'd heard whispers, of course—secondhand conversations that had snatched Sasuke's attention as soon as he heard the name, but to randomly stumble on the small, self-started, art-and-adjacent sort of shop—

It was impossible.

It didn't matter that this fit the description. It didn't matter that the date in the corner of that painting slanted its ones and slashed through its sevens, and it didn't matter that the signature surely had an N and an U—and a scribbled mess in the rest of it—

It didn't matter than Sasuke was sure, sure, sure that he recognized the garden painted in that picture.

He wasn't here.

And yet...

Sasuke swallowed and pushed the door open, if only to prove himself wrong.

The bell chimed above his head with a melody that made his head spin. A dizzy nostalgia of a song he'd heard so aggravatingly often it had nearly driven him _crazy_ —

And there he was.

Naruto Uzumaki, standing in the middle of the room, like the goddamn sun in the sky.

"You're kidding me," he said, the slow smile breaking across his face— "who the fuck let you in here?!"

He tackled Sasuke with a force he'd barely known he'd remember—but he had, he'd remembered in every inch of him as he braced for the blow, standing firmly enough to hold an automatic, indulgent hand to the warmth of Naruto's back, barely able to pull it away as Naruto wrenched back as quickly as he'd always come—

"How've you been?!"

Sasuke was amazed.

"Not as good as you," said his mouth, without any sort of reasonable permission— "apparently."

Sasuke didn't even have the heart to regret the words. Years of convincing himself that flipping through photos would do nothing but make him miserable—years of switching stations on the radio if they had even the slightest few chords the same as a memory—years of avoiding the places they'd used to love, terrified he'd come face to face with everything he'd lost—years of—

Fucking hell.

Those years had been kind to Naruto.

"Yeah, _right_ ," he laughed, and all it did was brighten the cloudless sky in those brilliant eyes. "What are you—did you—crap, sorry, come in properly, come in, come in—"

Naruto laughed and moved aside, waving in a distant, dizzy Sasuke. A dreaming Sasuke. Naruto—smiling at the sight of him? Hugging him? Happy to see him at all? It had to be a dream. He—

"Sorry," Naruto said again, and Sasuke stared at his smile. "Did you—what're you doing here?"

Shit.

Sasuke didn't have an answer for that.

"Did you know this was my place?"

"No, I—" Sasuke breathed in, "no. No, I just—"

Sasuke waved a vague hand behind him, breathing in, as if the air would somehow supply him with the words he needed—

It didn't.

Naruto's smile widened a little.

"What," he said, laughing a little, "are you nervous or something? It's not like I'm some ex-boyfriend you haven't talked to in ten—"

"Moron," Sasuke spat out with the deepest, most humiliating sigh, and Naruto snatched his hand out of the air.

"There," he said, pressing Sasuke's hand to a heartbeat that he'd been sure he'd never feel again— "That help?"

Sasuke laughed out his breathlessness, feeling Naruto's heart hammering against his hand some several moments longer after Naruto let go. Some things were sure, in the world, Sasuke thought—like the sun rising in the morning, like the ground being wet after a rain.

Like Naruto dropping everything to comfort a person who was even the slightest bit unsure, no matter who they were, or who they used to be.

"You haven't changed at all," Sasuke said softly, forcing his hand to drop, "have you?"

Naruto let out a laugh.

"You'll have to be the one to tell me," he said, lopsided grin tilting the same way as the hand twisting through his hair. "Got time for some coffee or something?"

Sasuke breathed out a decade of relief.

"Yes."

Naruto reached over him and flipped the sign to _Closed_.

"C'mon. I've got comfier seats over here."

* * *

Had he changed?

No. Not really. Not really at all, Naruto thought, tapping his fingers against the counter as he watched the coffee drip into the pot. Not when it came to Sasuke.

But, uh. He'd known that already.

He let out a breath through his nose, running a hand through his hair. Of all the people in the world to walk in, the last one he'd expected was…

"Anything I can help with?"

Naruto nearly jumped out of his skin.

"No! I—uh, nope, don't think so," he laughed, turning to rest against the counter as he waved a hand at the coffee maker. "It's almost ready. I'm doing tea for myself though."

"I can see that. Avoiding caffeine?"

"Yeah, uh—I do, kinda try. Drank too much of it in school, y'know."

He threw Sasuke a grin, and Sasuke rolled his eyes a little, immediately taking the dig as what it was—Naruto hadn't been the only one sleep-deprived and jittering their way to class—

"I'd have absolutely no idea what that would be like."

Naruto let out a small laugh, looking down at the way his feet shuffled under him. His body was _humming_ with energy—awkward, excited, nervous energy, and the last thing he needed right now was more of it. But Sasuke's knuckles were white and his eyes were scattered, he kept breathing in as if ready to speak and then—

Nothing.

Sasuke breathed out and looked away, his lips tight and unhappy.

"Your hair's longer," Naruto said, scanning over him. It worked to snap Sasuke's gaze back—his lips a little looser, his eyes a little more focused. It was less like he'd gotten older and more like...he'd grown into himself. Naruto could see...all of Sasuke, here and it fit perfectly. Which was nuts, because ten years ago Naruto would have said there was absolutely no way the man could get any prettier, but now—when he—

"So is yours."

—smiled like that…

Naruto ducked his head.

"Told you I'd eventually try my birth dad's look. How'd I do?"

He met Sasuke's eyes, and he saw them soften.

"Very well," he said, quiet and...something. Like his voice was full of an emotion that was just out of reach of Naruto's hearing—it sounded steady; sounded fine and normal and Naruto wasn't sure anyone else in the world would have picked something up, but he—he—

He knew better.

Didn't he? Still? After so many...

Naruto breathed in at the same time as Sasuke.

"Sorry," he said quickly, as Sasuke did the same, "go a—"

"No, you can—"

"It's okay, you can—"

"—go—ah."

"Uh."

Naruto ducked his head in a laugh, and Sasuke turned away again.

"I'll, uh. Get your coffee," he said, and it sounded like a sigh.

"Your water's boiled," Sasuke responded in kind, and Naruto glanced behind him to see Sasuke already picking up the kettle, turning with it to look for the—

"It's the orange one."

Sasuke let out a soft snort.

"As if there was ever any doubt."

Naruto ducked his head to hide his smile, and stuck the pot back into its place.

"What is this?" Sasuke asked, lifting it up—

"It's, uh. Cotton candy flavoured?"

Sasuke's lips twitched.

"Okay, yes, ha ha, asshole, it's totally predictable. Give me that—"

Naruto snatched his cup from Sasuke and shoved the coffee into his hands. Black, he assumed, 'cause he couldn't exactly imagine Sasuke growing a sweet tooth—

"You're sweetening it?"

"It's just a bit of honey!" Naruto said, the spoon falling out of his hand— "Not all of us want to drown in the bitterness of our souls or whatever you're trying to do—"

"No, you had it right. I drown in the bitterness of my soul once each morning. Occasionally in the afternoons."

Naruto coughed out a laugh and threw Sasuke a half-hearted glare. But Sasuke only made his smile a bit more obvious, hiding it in his coffee as if Naruto couldn't see it written all over his face—

"You haven't changed a bit either," he sighed, shaking his head as he mixed his tea. Still an asshole. Still a stupid, funny, charming...

"You'll have to be the one to tell me," Sasuke responded, quietly and in kind. It made Naruto look back at him again. It was both comfortable and uncomfortable—it felt so effortless to slip back into the relationship they used to have, and so easy to snap back into reality. It wasn't like Naruto had made much effort to ignore him or anything, but they hadn't…

Naruto breathed out.

"S'been a long time," he said, pulling the spoon out of his too-hot mug. "Doesn't feel like it has, does it?"

"No," Sasuke answered. "It doesn't."

Naruto turned back around, resting against the countertop.

"We're old now."

Sasuke let out a soft snort.

"Tell that to Itachi."

Naruto laughed.

"I will. Did he tell you we still talk?"

"Did he—no. No—what?"

Naruto snorted out a laugh.

"Fucking asshole. 'Course he didn't—he didn't tell me you were coming here, either, the ass. You—"

"You've been talking to him?"

Oh.

"Not often," Naruto said carefully, reading the hurt in Sasuke's eyes like a book. "Just to check up on you, really. You were a big part of my life."

There was a pause.

Naruto took a sip of his tea. It... _nearly_ burned his tongue. Not quite, though.

"And you have _no_ online presence," he added, after a moment.

He grinned as Sasuke laughed, shooting him a teasing look and feeling the tension slip from his shoulders—

"Seriously," he said, sliding his tea back on the counter. "You couldn't throw up a picture once in a while so I could lurk in secret and not be some loser texting your brother?"

"Absolutely not," Sasuke told him. "Itachi needs all the human contact he can get."

Naruto coughed out a surprised laugh—

"Is that a 'he has no friends' dig or 'he has five cats' dig?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"The fact that you have two options to choose from is telling."

Naruto ducked his head again.

"Okay, point. Those cats are cute, though."

"Until you have to bathe them," Sasuke said, "they certainly are."

Naruto laughed again, and then it...softened. The room grew quiet again, filled with that small, background sort of tension that made Naruto want to joke around to break it. Sasuke had something to say, though.

Naruto imagined that's why he was here.

He took another sip of his tea, and let the silence fill the room.

"I...recognized your handwriting. In the picture outside."

Naruto stared at him.

"...And my mother's garden," Sasuke added, looking down. "I—I didn't know you were here. But—"

"But then you did," Naruto laughed. "Damn. Am I still that messy?"

"Absolutely," Sasuke said, and Naruto did his best to pout past the laugh. And the relief. And the—the wonderful, flattering...something Naruto felt, beating in his heart in response to the smallest indication that Sasuke remembered him as vividly as Naruto did—

"Wow," he said, and he didn't even attempt to make it sound offended. "Damn."

"The—handwriting was. The garden—when did you—you never—did you paint? When we—"

He cut himself off.

Naruto laughed.

"When we dated, Sasuke?" he asked, shifting to face him fully. "You don't have to dance around it. Nope, I didn't. I got into it after we broke up."

Sasuke looked down and up again.

"You're very good," he said, and it was soft. Naruto resisted the urge to roll his eyes at himself as his stupid heart fluttered in his stupid chest—

"Thanks," he said, instead. "They're not all mine. I've got a bunch of local artists and stuff—and if people want to try to sell their stuff after class, I keep it here, too. That's why there's so many."

"...Class?"

Naruto nodded.

"Yeah," he said. "I do some classes. That's what these drinks are usually for. Did you wanna sit down, by the way? I've got like—actual couches."

"I—yes, sure. Sure."

Naruto laughed softly and walked past him, pretending he didn't feel the soft warmth of Sasuke's body as he passed—the kitchen wasn't exactly big, and it wasn't exactly a real kitchen, more like a hallway he'd stuck some tables and other stuff into—

"Here," Naruto said, opening one of the back doors. "I've got like a—hang out and painting space back here."

"...And a bed," Sasuke pointed out.

"And a bed," Naruto laughed. "Never know when I'm gonna go all in and lose track of time."

"I get the sense that happens far more often than it ought to." Sasuke asked, and Naruto laughed again.

"I've always been nocturnal. You know that."

Sasuke met his eyes, and something squeezed Naruto's heart again. He—he was really trying. Trying to accept the thoughts as they came and let them pass without judgement, trying to stay in the moment they were in, as opposed to back in the time when those eyes had been full of hot, dazed intensity, when those lips were swollen and Sasuke would whisper his name like—

No.

That wasn't now.

It was hard, though. It was really tough, because there had been other moments—softer, sweeter moments, where he'd catch Sasuke's gaze on him and it would be full of something...tender. Powerful, but gentle. Affectionate.

In love.

And fucking hell, it had looked so much like the way Sasuke was looking at him now.

"Um," Naruto said, trying to clear his throat past the lump forming in it, "here. Um. I pushed the couch against the—I was painting last night, so—"

"I can see that," Sasuke said softly. "It's huge."

"Yeah," Naruto breathed out a nervous, scared, terrified, panicked laugh. "Yeah, um. I'm experimenting. I still suck at drawing people, so I was just…uh—"

"Attempting to draw a thousand of them on one canvas?" Sasuke said, crouching down to the—the—fuck, he should've— "You don't seem very unskilled to me."

"That—that's 'cause you're an untrained eye, Sasuke. But, um—"

"Impressive," he said, "considering you had no pictures to work from."

Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, he'd completely forgotten—

"It's—sorry. It's—your—your face is just really clear in my head. It—sticks. And sometimes I—I just have to get the thoughts out somehow, so—"

"I don't mind," Sasuke said softly, and Naruto breathed in. The silence was tenser, this time, more fierce and frightening. Naruto felt it in his chest and his lungs, like he was breathing it all in—

"I'm sorry."

Naruto blinked.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," Sasuke said, soft and quiet. His finger trailed along an unpainted bit of the old rolled-up paper Naruto used when he was messing around, catching on the corner to make a small fist— "It's something you should know."

Naruto breathed in, and it shuddered.

Sasuke still didn't look up.

"Along with everything else. That I didn't treat you well. Not enough—surely you know that."

"Sasuke—"

"You deserved better. That's why I didn't talk to you—I knew you'd forgive me in a heartbeat. And I'd never have the strength to say no, and you didn't deserve that. You deserved better."

Naruto stared at him. Sasuke stared up at the ceiling.

"But I loved you. You should—I hope you—I hope you know that. Knew that."

Damn it. Damn it, he'd been—he'd been—Naruto breathed in and it gave him totally away, Sasuke was immediately on his feet again—

"I was doing so good, you asshole," Naruto laughed, scrubbing his wet cheek with his paint-splattered sleeve. "I—yeah, I—listen. Crap. I had like a million letters I wrote to you but I threw those all out when I moved—"

"You can look through my email drafts, if you'd like. I might still have some."

Naruto laughed, and another few tears broke free.

"Fuck," he breathed out, wiping at them again, "damn it. Okay. Ugh."

He flopped down to sit on the edge of his mattress. His old one, that he'd kept from university, and _that_ was not a thought he should be revisiting when Sasuke sat down with him—

Naruto sat right in front of Sasuke. Sasuke sat down with him.

"It—okay. I loved you too. And I knew you loved me. The break up wasn't your fault."

"It almost certainly—"

"No," said Naruto, shaking his head, "no, it was both of our faults. We were kids, for one thing, and we both kinda screwed it up and bounced off each others' mistakes until it all spiralled out of control. Don't you think?"

"I…"

"Come on. You were so busy you couldn't even reply to me. And I didn't know how to deal with it. I had this—this _idea_ that I had to help, and I couldn't help without talking to you, and I couldn't reach you, so I'd just freak out and text you a hundred times, which just overwhelmed you _more_ —"

"I shouldn't have been neglecting you in the first place."

"You weren't—you were busy! You had shit to do! And I was another thing you needed to do, and I should have trusted that you'd get around to balancing everything eventually and just _been_ there for when you did, but—"

"But you responded naturally? I boiled you down into nothing but another _obligation_ , Naruto, surely you knew you should have been so much more—"

"I made you get to that point. Come on. Thirty texts between in a silence? In what, like an hour? That's not healthy relationship behaviour."

"Neither is not responding for three days."

"Yeah, well—yeah. Okay. So we both fucked up, didn't we?"

Sasuke breathed in and looked down. Naruto flinched back a little, realizing only then that his hand had made it to Sasuke's knee, which—which was probably way too intimate for—

"I was super dependent on you," he said, folding his hands so he wouldn't do it again. "Too dependent. I needed to learn how to be on my own."

Sasuke let out a sigh.

"I was the opposite," he said softly, and Naruto laughed a little.

Yeah, it had been a mess. A mess they hadn't known how to get out of, because Naruto talked too much without ever hitting the point he wanted to say, and Sasuke had a tendency to never talk about any of it at all. And it had been Naruto who brought it up, in the end—to break up, as a last resort, as a desperate declaration just to get Sasuke to _react_ , but it had been Sasuke who agreed—

"I don't regret it," Naruto said softly. "Breaking up, I mean. I didn't like who I was becoming. I needed something to kick me into getting help."

Sasuke looked up.

"And did you?"

"Yeah," Naruto said, smiling softly. "A lot of it. 'Specially after I found out tutoring was free for student athletes. Plus, I—did you know I was dyslexic?"

"I had my suspicions," Sasuke muttered, and Naruto smacked his shoulder with a—

"You _prick_! You couldn't've—"

"Told you?" Sasuke sighed. "That would involve knowing how to communicate, and we all know how abysmal I was at that."

"You were an ass, Sasuke Uchiha," Naruto laughed, leaning back, "and so was I. Isn't that part of being young? Being a bit of an ass?"

Sasuke snorted.

"I hate to break it to you," he said softly, "but the closest you've ever come to unkindness is keeping my favourite sweater."

Naruto cringed.

"I—uh! I—uh," he shifted, looking behind him, "sorry. Yeah, that was a dick move. I—um. I actually—you can have it back, if you—"

"You still have it?"

"It—oh come on, you think I'd throw it out? That'd be even worse!" he said, and Sasuke snorted again. "...And it's cozy as hell."

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair and looked up at him.

"Oh—no, come on. Don't start, Sasuke, I just stopped crying—come on, keep it together! Don't—I'll never stand a—"

"Shut up," Sasuke muttered softly, letting his long hair fall to cover his eyes again. The hands that swatted at Naruto's caught them instead, and Naruto held his breath for as long as they didn't let go—

"You—" Sasuke shook his head, but all Naruto could see was the way his lips pressed together. "You—you're doing well, though. Everyone says—"

"Everyone?"

Sasuke flinched.

Naruto laughed.

"Oh! Oh, you were really gonna let me play myself like that? Telling you all about how I talk to Itachi and staying—"

"Karin mentions you. I thought she might have said something."

"Karin's loyalty is always to you first, 'ske. She's never forgiven me for dating you."

Sasuke let out a small laugh, and Naruto's grin widened.

"You guys are still friends? I've legitimately gotten nothing from her."

"We...talk occasionally. She's never mentioned it?"

"Nope. Maybe she didn't want to rub it in," Naruto laughed, glancing away. "Weirdly nice of her, huh…"

Sasuke's head was down again when he looked back.

"I'm sorry," he said again, and Naruto swatted at his shoulder.

"Don't be! I'm serious. I needed it. Don't get me wrong, I was—y'know. I didn't handle us breaking up great, 'cause I still—really—um. You know. But I needed to figure myself out and stop relying on somebody else for my happiness. You were never gonna be able to satisfy that. I was just gonna snowball and need more and more and more. I'm better now."

Sasuke looked up.

"You look it."

And there it was again—that stupid flutter in his heart at the compliment. Naruto could feel the smile on his face and heat in his cheeks—there was no way Sasuke wouldn't be able to read it—

"I never would have thought you as an artist," Sasuke said, and Naruto leaned back with a laugh.

"I know, right? It's way too, like," Naruto held his hands out in front of himself, "... _still_ for me."

Sasuke snorted.

"It's good, though. I get so focused that everything else goes away and my head is sort of…clearer. Once it's all out. Can suck if I get interrupted or if I can't figure out how to get the stupid ideas in my head to look the way I want, but—it's all part of it, I think. When it works, it's the fucking best."

"Hm," Sasuke hummed, looking for something in Naruto's face. "How did you start? With paint, right away?"

"Oh, no, I—I tried a lot of stuff. I actually—I ended up really lucky, 'cause I dropped an elective I was already fucking up in and was just kind of looking for anything to fill the space. And somebody had dropped out of an art class, so I...it made me do it. And it made me do a lot, way out of my league. I fucking bomb anything with precision, like lining stuff? Fuck me. And stuff that's—that's permanent. I like painting over what I've already got, or trying to sketch something into something else. And I had another class with tablets and everything, which rocked. I really love getting messy though. You don't get paint all over your hands when you draw electronically." He laughed. "Usually that's a plus."

"Not to you, apparently."

"Nope. Not to me. I—I actually accidentally managed a minor in art. Sports kinda fell by the wayside but I—I dunno. I really liked it."

"It shows."

Naruto laughed and ducked his head again.

"You gotta stop being charming, Sasuke. I know it's muscle memory and all, but—"

"Muscle memory? It's been a decade."

"Not since _me_ , since whoever you dated last. Or, uh—are still dating?"

Sasuke snorted.

"Incorrect," he said, "on all accounts."

Naruto blinked.

"I don't date. Has Itachi been lying to you?"

"No, he—I _figured_ Itachi was lying to spare my feelings. Really? You haven't—"

"Really."

"No time, or…?"

Sasuke let out a soft laugh.

"As if I'd make that mistake again."

"I—! That's not what I—"

"Moron," Sasuke said, leaning forwards with a small smile, "has Karin been sparing my feelings?"

Naruto let out a breathy, nervous laugh.

"No. I—no, I don't—I don't date either."

Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed.

"Never?"

"Not...not really. Um."

Sasuke stared at him.

Naruto...attempted to breathe out his nerves.

"Y'know. I was focusing on other stuff. I'm not really...looking for a relationship."

Sasuke didn't waver. In fact, that looked like it made it _worse_ —

"That doesn't seem like you."

"The—what? What doesn't?"

"To give up," Sasuke said, looking down again—somewhere between their knees— "on love."

Crap. Crap, that feeling was back in Naruto's chest again—if he didn't catch himself—

"I—well, that—" he swallowed past the lump in his throat. "I...haven't, exactly. Not, um, totally. I've got more to work through before I'm open to something like that, though. It wouldn't be...okay. Or honest. Um. I can't imagine somebody actually being okay, with—y'know. All this."

He waved a hand over the Sasukes, splattered all over the floor.

Sasuke didn't reply. Naruto got the sense he'd—he might have said way too much, and crossed some sort of line he'd never been real good at seeing. Especially when it came to—

"Anyway!" he said, sitting up. "That's me! Managed to graduate, minor in art, started painting all over the place and now I'm here. Your turn."

Sasuke let out a small laugh.

"How much has my brother told you? This might all be things you know already."

"I don't talk to him that much! I didn't even know you guys were over here now!"

Sasuke snorted.

"Hm. Did he know you were here?"

"I—uh."

Naruto blinked in realization.

"Yeah. He did."

Sasuke put his head in his hands.

"I might kill that man, you know."

"Don't kill him!" Naruto laughed, slapping at his shoulder. "Tell me about your life. Come on. You know about mine."

Sasuke huffed out a breath and sat up again.

"Well," he said, resting his hands back against the mattress, "let's see. I burnt out. I dropped out."

Sasuke looked up, as if looking for surprise.

Naruto, uh. Didn't have any.

"Yeah," he said softly. "I—that's actually—um. Itachi called me first."

"Did he?"

Naruto nodded.

"I think—well he—he wanted to know if something happened between us."

"Mm, makes sense," Sasuke said softly, "I'd barely been able to put it into words."

Naruto's heart jumped into his throat.

"Not that I'd been any good with words to begin with," Sasuke muttered, after a moment. "I didn't handle it well, obviously. But I wouldn't admit anything was wrong. I tried to just keep going, and it all just…"

"Exploded," Naruto finished quietly, and Sasuke nodded.

"I—" Naruto said, sitting up with a harsh breath in, "for the record, I really wanted to—after Itachi called me, I almost—"

"You were right not to. I would have only lashed out again," he said, shaking his head, "which would have caused you to panic further, and we would have spiralled out of control again. You were right about that."

Naruto let out a soft, pitiful laugh.

"Yeah. At the time—yeah. Anyway, keep going."

"Hm, I...refused to apply to law school. Which my parents didn't appreciate—predictably. And I accidentally came out in that whole mess, which was...not ideal."

"I'm sorry," Naruto offered softly, and Sasuke met his eyes for a gentle, grateful moment.

"It's alright. If it was going to burst from me like that, it was going to happen eventually. They didn't react well, if you're wondering."

"I—yeah. That part, I—um. I actually kind of—"

Sasuke looked up.

Naruto bit his lip.

"I kinda yelled at them."

Sasuke...sat up.

"I—I didn't—well I _did_ mean to, but—!"

"You yelled at my parents? When was this?"

"I—like—uh. Before I was—I wasn't—no, I was here already. Um. Three years? Itachi put me on the phone with them. I—"

"Three years? That...you're kidding me," Sasuke muttered, staring at him. "Is this before or after they reached out to me? Three years ago—did you do that?"

"I—uh. I—uh? I have no id—are you guys talking again?"

"We're attempting to. Did Itachi not tell you?"

Naruto vigorously shook his head.

"No—damn it, we have a thing about me not—not knowing stuff unless I particularly ask for it so that I'm not— _anyway_. Shit, that's—thank god. Thank fuck, I was so scared that I—"

"Did you convince my parents to reach out to me?"

"I have no clue. I—got really mad. Itachi put me on the phone with them, um. It was around your birthday I asked if you were home for the summer or stayed doing your PhD, and then he kinda—sorry."

Sasuke...laughed. He put his head in his hands and his shoulders shook—he shook his head as he looked up, staring at Naruto with utter disbelief—

"That was you. I had no idea what made them come around. I've been wanting to know," he shook his head again, "I can't believe it was you."

"It—sorry. I didn't mean to cross any lines or anything, um—"

"You didn't," Sasuke said. "Maybe you did. I don't care. What did you say?"

"I—I kind of unloaded on them. Um. I might've been a bit too honest, actually, I kinda saw red, Sasuke—"

"Hit me. It's been three years," Sasuke said, "and something good's come out of it. I'm not about to hold a grudge."

Naruto laughed softly.

"That's surprising. You could hold a grudge like a champ back in the day."

Sasuke flicked the tip of his nose.

"Ow! Asshole—!"

"Stop avoiding the question, moron."

Naruto laughed again, rubbing at his face.

"Okay, okay, um. It was—a lot of it was stuff I kind of knew at the time but didn't know how to...approach. Like stuff I figured out about you. Like how you were so...how they _made_ you so desperate to be perfect. You had to be—you didn't even only have to be Itachi, you had to be a perfect version of him. In completely different circumstances. As a completely different person. You should have grown up hating him, from what they did. And then the minute you have the smallest slip, they're done with you? You bounced back so well from crashing like that—people don't do that, you know. So many people don't do that."

"I know," Sasuke said softly.

"But you did, and then they—after all that, they—"

"If it helps," Sasuke said quietly, "it was my decision to cut contact."

Naruto breathed out.

"It should have never been on the table. No kid should feel like the only way to live is without their parents."

Sasuke jerked his head to look at him, but Naruto didn't care.

"I'm really fucking mad at them for that." He let out a breath and looked away. "S'what I told them."

There was a pause. Naruto continued to stare ahead of him, at the way the window was darkening, now. He'd picked this place specifically 'cause he'd loved the windows in the back room—they'd saved his ass so many times when he lost track of time—

"Yeah," Sasuke said, sighing softly. "You haven't changed."

"I—" Naruto let out a small laugh. "I've changed a little. Um. I'm way better at slowing down and—thinking things through. Sometimes. Focusing, too. I'm better at focusing. I'm better at noticing when I'm too attached to stuff, or when I'm—I'm latching onto someone for the affection that they've shown me. And not for who they actually are. That's a real bad habit of mine."

"You're a happier version of yourself," Sasuke said softly. "But still you."

Naruto met his eyes and had to look away. His throat was thick again, his chest feeling tight—it was that _look_ in Sasuke's eyes again, and Naruto couldn't—couldn't let himself think about him and Sasuke right now. He had to keep it at a distance—or as well as he could, or—

"For the record," Sasuke continued. "I've gotten better at communicating. Honestly."

Naruto let out a small laugh and looked over at him.

"Yeah. Case in point."

The smile widened across Sasuke's face.

"You know," he said, scanning over Naruto with a soft, happy warmth. "You skipped over the part where you'd found this place. And your several hundred galleries for your work…

"How d'you know about those?! I—yeah. I mean, I was one artist along with a hundred other ones, so it's not—"

"It's an accomplishment. Your name was in the paper," Sasuke said. "Several times. Tell me about the rest of your life. Do you have that dog you always wanted, too?"

"I—" Naruto laughed. "No. Not yet! I've been looking, though…"

* * *

Naruto didn't have a dog...yet. He hadn't been sure he'd be home enough to take care of one, but he was getting there—he told Sasuke about the shows he'd been part of, how his art had been auctioned off and the way he'd felt the first time someone had actually bought something from him. How some of his professors had been amazing and some had been terrible and some he still kept in touch with, because they were the reason he realized he could make something like this work. He told him about his house, here—how it was even more cluttered than here, how the backyard was probably bigger than the house itself, and that suited Naruto just fine. He showed Sasuke pictures of his garden, and they both forgot about the drinks they'd left at the entrance of the room. Naruto's obsession with plants rivalled Sasuke's mother's, and Sasuke told him so—

And then Naruto had asked, again—so Sasuke had told him, again. More thoroughly this time, as they laid on the mattress in the dark room, about his parents. Told him about the fights—told him how he hadn't been able to say what he wanted clearly and honestly, and so he'd said it in harsh, vague, broken pieces. Unable to ask for acceptance, he'd snapped his sexuality and fled—hiding out in his apartment, in the broken pieces of what had once been filled with so much of his hope. Unable to ask for a break from it all, he'd stayed—laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, not even getting up when there was a knock at the door. Unable to reach out and tell Itachi he needed help, he'd let the silence fill the call, and just waited, waited, waited, until Itachi was eventually forced to hang up.

And when he'd finally read all the ranting his parents had sent him—their harsh, panicked words and confused, harsh anger—he'd responded. He'd responded, and they'd spiralled just as ferociously as his relationship with Naruto had—and so that broke, too. That broke, and Sasuke broke, and it wasn't until Itachi saw the state of him that someone finally got him out of his own head.

And then he woke up, and went over it all, over and over again. He'd had to confront it after all—confront his own perfectionist tendencies, and the root of them, really, honestly, deep inside himself—confront the fact that he'd failed. Explosively and concretely, he'd failed.

He'd come to learn what he'd always known. He'd never been perfect.

But he'd tried. God, he'd tried. (Naruto had shifted then, his fingertips touching the top of Sasuke's hand, as if unable to fully stop himself from trying to hold it.)

And knowing it was one thing, and accepting it was another—but there had been no other way for Sasuke to go, and so he'd had to. He'd been confronted with all of his flaws at once. His inability to reflect on himself, his dependency on secrecy and his aversion to ever saying anything he thought out loud. He was better, now. More honest. He thought he was, at least, and Naruto had laughed and agreed—reminding him of everything they were doing right now, once again.

His eyes had been so clear, in the dark.

And filled with relief—Sasuke felt it in his own heart, too. Relief, relief, relief—as if he could breathe again. As soon as Naruto had smiled at him, as soon as he'd hugged him, as soon as he'd seen his face painted all over the paper on the floor.

He wasn't the only one. He wasn't the only one _stuck_ in this, stuck with Naruto in his head. Glued—etched, was more like it. Permanently integrated as a part of him. Sasuke spoke to Naruto and it was both like they had a million things they didn't know, but there was so much more that they did. That they still had. Sasuke remembered Naruto's favourite song and Naruto called Itachi every year on his birthday. Naruto debated sending stupid Christmas cards and Sasuke laughed and searched Naruto's email on the phone that was still in his pocket—Draft. Draft. Draft. He must have had hundreds of them.

Naruto tried to read them, of course.

(Sasuke didn't let him.)

"Man. That's nuts," Naruto sighed, flopping back down. "I had no idea."

"I'm starting to think the only one out of all of us that _did_ was my brother."

Naruto laughed, running a hand through his sunlight hair. They'd both nudged their way back along the mattress—with their feet still stretched off it. They were the wrong way around, but neither of them had tried to move. Not beyond rolling to face each other, not beyond Naruto resting his head on his folded arm, looking at him with eyes that pierced through the dark with a clarity Sasuke had been _sure_ he'd misremembered. Nobody's eyes looked like that. No one...

Except for Naruto.

"Um," Naruto whispered, and Sasuke saw him swallow. "I think the—I think the sun is starting to come up."

Fuck.

"Is it?" Sasuke asked, springing up. And the moment was broken—god, it was going to be. He knew it in his panicking, terrified heart. Too perfect, too much of everything he'd always, always, always wanted—here was reality to wake him from this dream. If he left—as he had to, as they both had to—would they ever—what if they never—

"Um," Naruto said, sitting up too. "Listen, I—"

"Is your number still the same?" Sasuke asked, desperate.

Naruto breathed in.

"You—I—yeah. I thought—you still have it?"

Sasuke swallowed.

"You still have my sweater," he whispered, and Naruto flinched and looked away.

He felt it, then. Again, in the air—in the pictures, in the way Naruto twisted his fingers around each other, in the sunrise attempting to stream through the window—

"I want to ask something," he said, quietly and honestly. And clearly. All the things he needed to be. There was no time. Not now. Not after he'd wasted so much—

"I'll never ask it again if the answer is no."

"I—gee, Sasuke, that settles my nerves right down." Naruto let out a soft, nervous laugh. "Sure. Okay. Shoot."

Sasuke stared at the sunrise.

"Do you want to try again?"

Naruto breathed in.

"Try—"

"Because I'm still in love with you," Sasuke said, and a tear leaked out of his eye. "I always have been. And I always will be. I've always—I've never been able to—"

"Yes. Yeah, fucking hell, Sasuke, yes—"

Sasuke back hit the mattress, and Naruto buried his tearful face into Sasuke's shoulder.

"I love you," he said, his voice quiet and thick, "I really love you. It hasn't gone away at all, I really tried to make it, but—"

"I know," Sasuke whispered, "I know. Me too."

Naruto breathed out a shuddering breath and held him tight. Tighter.

Sasuke didn't let him go.

* * *

_Omake:_

Sasuke scrambled out of the elevator, shoving the door open with his shoulder. Naruto had let him take some coffee in a travel mug, at least, but—

"Morning, Sasuke."

Crap.

"Morning," he said, "sorry for being late. I was—stuck. At the crosswalks, the—lights."

"Right," Itachi said, opening the door to his office. "I suppose they also stuck that paint to your cheek, then?"

Sasuke slapped a hand to his skin—

"The—I—"

Itachi's door shut.

It did absolutely nothing to hide his laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaand there it is! October's fic is coming early this time :) I hope you all liked it! I did my best to get it out as fast as I could, so I'm happy I made it!
> 
> If you want more fun stuff, you can check out [all my links here](https://kinomiakai.carrd.co/).
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> \- Kinomi


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